PANIC OPERA (ÓPERA PÂNICA)

A Tragic Cabaret

ALEJANDRO JODOROWSKY

Translated from the Spanish by Kristopher Biernat

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Characters:

• A, man
• B, man
• C, man
• D, man
• E, woman
• F, woman
• G, woman
• Narrator

(In addition to his text, the Narrator will announce the title of each scene.)

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Narrator: PROLOGUE!

(A, B, C, D, E, and F are seated in two rows, as if on a plane, with their backs to the audience. From the rear of the stage, advancing toward the audience is G.)

G: (smiling, hypocritical) A storm is approaching. Fasten your seatbelts. Do you already know how to inflate your life jackets? Do you know how to put on your oxygen masks? Do you have good life insurance? If not, you can still sign up for it right here on the plane. There is still time. As it seems you have lost your memories, I must tell you that they have been transferred through the air, from one plane to another, and that their origins are completely unknown to us.  On the other hand, we are very sorry, we cannot communicate our destiny to you because it is secret. How long will we fly? How many hours, weeks, months, years? At the back of the ship we have a small funeral parlor with a cremation oven. Each passenger, in the back compartment of the seat in front of you, can find an encyclopedia of games to kill time, an envelope with a list of false identities, and a manual of original and fun suicides. We wish you an excellent storm with many pleasant jumps.

(G sits down. The other six actors, always with their backs to the audience, pretend that they are looking for the envelope. C turns, and in front of the spectators, reads a list that he takes out of one of the envelopes.)

C: Paranoid…Schizophrenic…Cyclothymic…Masochist…Common neurotic…Mitomaniac…Coprophagous…Coprophagous! That’s it! Luckily we get to choose our madness. 

(Darkness.)
(Light.)

Narrator: THE SWIMMERS!

(A, B, and D get on their chairs, put on swimmer’s caps, and take the starting positions of a race. C, with a straw hat, lies on the floor next to them.)

Narrator: A swimming pool. Three swimmers are doing exercises before they jump into the water.

A, B, and D: One! Two! And…!

B: Wait a minute!

(The three swimmers take a resting position.)

B: It is clear that the water quality influences our times. 

D: Of course: the higher the density, the longer our times. 

A: If our performance changes according to the density of the water then before starting any race a pool with officially regulated water must be obtained.

B: Correct, from an ideal point of view. But is it possible? If, for example, I spit in the water…

D: The density increases. Swimmers should be banned from those kinds of demonstrations…

A: But a mosquito couldn’t possibly be banned from laying its eggs in our pool..

B: Or that a greater or lesser amount of dust won’t settle into it…

D: We would have to swim in a pond of distilled water, under a glass dome! 

A: Then we would have to swim with oxygen tanks!

B: The problem has no solution…

(C gets up, and imitates the ringing of a bell.)

C: (With exhaustion, hopelessness) Clang, clang, clang! Attention, attention, attention! Last call! We are going to close the pool! Do they race or not?

(C waits. A, B, and D do exercises, preparing to jump into the water. C despairs.)

A, B, and D: One! Two! And…!

B: Wait a minute!

(A, B, and D take a resting position.)

B: On the other hand, water temperature is also an extremely influential factor in our yields. 

D: It is different to swim in nearly frozen water than it is to swim in boiling water. 

A: If our performance changes according to the temperature of the water, then before starting any race a pool with officially regulated water must be obtained.

B: Correct, from an ideal point of view. But is it possible? If, for example, I have a fever…

D: The water temperature rises. It would be necessary to ban swimmers with fevers. 

A: Swimmers could never be banned from having slight changes in their internal temperatures. I, for example, at the slightest excitement, get cold…

B: When I compete my hands burn…

D: We would have to compete without emotion and with blood of an equal temperature! 

A: Then we would have to swim with thermometers in our assholes! 

B: The problem has no solution…

(C approaches them, pretending to ring a bell while barking.)

C: Clang, clang, clang! Woof, woof woof! This is over! Go, get out of here! The dogs are coming! Woof, woof! Every man for himself!

(The swimmers don’t react. C waits. A, B, and D begin their exercises, but very soon they stop and take their resting positions.)

B: Let’s talk about the quality of the skin: there are some people with dry skin, and others with oily skin. 

D: True. Obviously oily skin would favor the swimmer in the lead.

A: The amount of fat the swimmers have would have to be regulated…

(C, furious, foams at the mouth.)

C: (I’m so angry!) Go away or I swear I will bite you! Grrr!

(A, B, and D ignore him, and continue to argue.)

B: This would imply imposing a new unit of measurement for swimmers.

D: Would that be possible? What factors are involved in skin secretion? 

C: Woof! Run away motherfuckers, I’m angry! 

A: The problem will require in-depth research…

C: My fleas will give you typhus! Get out!

(When they fail to react once more, C bites the leg of A’s pants and pulls on them. A, undaunted, continues to speak.)

C: Grrr! Grrr!

A: For example, do we consider the weight gained when water enters a swimmer’s ears? We have to admit that there are individuals with larger ear canals than others. 

C: Grrr!

B: A surgeon would have to be hired to standardize the dimensions of the competitor’s ears…

(C, meanwhile, releases A and begins attacking B’s pants. B, distractedly, shakes his leg. C falls into the “pool”, that is, he is half lying on the floor in front of the swimmer’s chairs. C pretends to fight not to sink.)

C: Glub…Glub…Help me!…Help me!…

D: We should also regulate involuntary tears, nasal secretions…

A: Swimsuits that can absorb more or less water…

C: Help!…Glub…Glub…

B: …Dirt under the nails…

D: …Indigestion and flatulence…

C: Glub…I don’t know…how to swim…

A: …Pimples, blackheads, boils…

B: The problem has no solution!

C: Help me!…Glub…Help!…

(Without addressing C, who continues to drown and beg for help, A, B, and D do their exercises and take their starting positions.)

A, B, and D: One! Two! And…!

(Darkness.)
(Light.)

Narrator: THE TWO PESSIMISTS!

(E and F, recalcitrant pessimists, enter from opposite sides, grumbling. They meet, stop, and look at each other aggressively.)

E: Nothing is good!

F: Nothing is good!

E: What did you say?

F: I said “nothing is good!” What about you?

E: I also said “nothing is good!” What horror! We agree. 

F: That’s not possible! What can we do to disagree? 

E: I have an idea. 

F: It’s bad. 

E: Yes, it’s bad. 

F: I also have an idea!

E: It’s also bad!

F: Yes, it’s also bad. All of the ideas we can have will be bad..

E: We will always agree. 

F: I need to find something that is good so that you’ll disagree with me… Nothing is good, except…

E: (Excitedly.) Except??

F: (Inhales. Fills up completely with air. Thinks. Finds nothing. Deflates.) Nothing is good.

E: Yes. Nothing is good… Shit! We still agree!

(A pause.)

E: I say no!

F: Then I’ll say yes!

E: I hope that it’s not a yes that agrees with my no, but a yes that is opposite to my no.

F: That!

E: So, do you agree?

F: I said no!

E: I also said no!

F: No, what?

E: No, nothing. What about you?

F: (Desperate.) The same. (Pause.) Nothing is good. 

E: Yes, nothing is good.

(A pause.)

E: (With exaggerated conviction.) I totally disagree with you!

F: (With exaggerated conviction.) And I, with you! Totally disagree!

E: So everything is good for you!

F: You were the first one who said you disagreed with me! Therefore, everything is good for you!

E: Nothing is good for me!

F: Nothing is good for me! We agree!

(A pause.)

F: What do we do to disagree?

E: There is nothing to do. Unless…

F: …one of us disappears.

E: Disappear!

F: No, you disappear!

E: Oh, we finally disagree! Disappear! Go away!

F: You disappear! Go away!

(They start fighting. Their blows, given without energy, are identical. Exhausted, they cease.)

E: Our forces are the same. 

F: Even if we fought for the rest of our lives neither of us could eliminate the other. 

E: Yes, the solution would be for one of us to disappear, but that’s not possible. 

F: Yes, it’s not possible. That was the only good solution. 

E: So, as I have always said, nothing is good.

F: That’s what I have always said: nothing is good.

E: We agree.

F: What a disgrace!

(Darkness.)
(Light.)

Narrator: THE WAR!

(A, a crazed soldier, runs in a circle.)

A: Yes my general! Yes my general! Yes my general!

(Generals B, C, and D all enter from different areas.)

D: Stop!

C: Go ahead!

B: Go back!

(A hesitates.)

D: I said stop!

C: I said go ahead!

B: I said go back!

(A, not knowing who to obey, faints.)

B, C, and D: Stand up!

(A shoots back to his feet,  firmly.)

D:  Who is your only general?

A: (To D.) You, my general!

C: No! Your only general is me!

A: (To C.) Yes, my general!

B: I am your general!

A: At your service, my general!

D: Do you dare disobey me?!

A: No, my general!

C: You’ve changed generals!

A: No, no, my general!

B: Betrayal!

A: At your service, my general!

B: Go back!

C: Go ahead!

D: Stop!

(A faints.)

B, C, and D: Stand up!

(A shoots back to his feet, firmly.)

C: Go ahead!

D: Stop!

B: Go back!

(A faints.)

B, C, and D: Stand up!

(A shoots back to his feet, firmly.)

D: We will fight against the false generals!

A: Yes, my general!

C: We will declare war on the enemy!

A: War, my general!

B: We will battle against the others!

A: Against the others, my general!

B, C, and D: Attack!

(A hesitates.)

B, C, and D: Quickly! Attack!

(A begins attacking himself with fierce blows.)

D: Victory will be ours!

C: We will cover ourselves with glory!

B: Don’t give up! This war is necessary! 

B, C, and D: Fight harder! 

(A fights harder, eventually rolling to the floor. Exhausted, he faints.)

D: The army is tired. I will sign a momentary pact.

C: Rest, rebuild your strength. I will sign a pact for a brief moment of peace.

B: We will stop the war for a few moments.

(B, C, and D approach each other. Reverence. Handshakes. Mechanical kisses on the cheeks. Sheets of paper. Signatures. Hugs. Awards. Martial hymns. Tears of patriotism. A sudden change: ferocity!)

B, C, and D: Stand up!

D: (To A.) Follow your only general!

C: (To A.) Follow your only general!

B: (To A.) Follow your only general!

(B, C, and D head toward opposite exits.)

B, C, and D: Follow your only general!

(A runs in a circle, unsure of what to do.)

A: Yes my general! Yes my general! Yes my general!

(Darkness.)
(Light.)

Narrator: THE PRISONERS!

(E and F sit facing each other, holding between them a frame with bars, separating them.)

E: I am a prisoner! Save me ma’am!

F: No, I am the prisoner. Save me, please!

E: Don’t play with me, I am the one behind the bars!

F: Cruel mockery! These bars are in front of me!

E and F: Free me! 

E: Executioner!

F: Cerberus! 

E: Free me!

F: Ha! A guard asking for freedom from their prisoner!

(E drops to the floor, crying.)

E: Mercy!

F: I don’t understand why you’re pretending. Maybe you want me to beg just as you are? (She drops to the floor, just like E.) You can see that I’m not proud! Please, please, give me freedom!

E: (Screaming.) I am the prisoner!!!

E and F: (Standing up.) Free me!

(E advances towards F, who backs off. Then F advances towards E, who also backs off. Both look like beasts ready to fight.)

F: If it weren’t for these bars I would kill you!

E: Sinister jailer! You deserve death!

F: If I could let go of these bars I’d strangle you…!

E: You can do it, I can’t! My hands are attached to them. 

F: Lies. You are there of your own free will!

E: You are the one who is only here to spy on my agony! I hate you!

F: I hate you!

(E and F try to pull their fingers from the bars.)

E: Don’t you realize how horrible it is to always be stuck in my cell? 

F: Yes, I realize. Free me so that I can cook again, travel…

E and F: Give me freedom. I am the prisoner. 

(Continuing to cling to the bars, they both fall to their knees, exhausted. They both cry quietly, then they look at each other.)

E: Your tears don’t seem fake. 

F: And neither do yours. 

E: Maybe you’ll have mercy on me. 

F: Maybe you’re really crying at my misfortune. 

E: You have been on the other side of my bars for a century! 

F: Since I’ve been imprisoned, you’ve never left your place there! 

E: You’ve always been there before me. 

F: You are old and tired. 

E: You suffer. 

F: Go away, you see that I can’t escape. You are free. Let me rest! 

E: Here you go again! Don’t lie. You don’t want to stay here. Go! Take advantage of your freedom!

E and F: You are the one who is free, not me! Go! Take advantage of your freedom!

(A pause.) 

(E and F look at each other with distrust, then, with friendship.)

E: Are you staying?

F: Good jailer, I’m beginning to understand you…

E: You’re crazy for staying here…

F: …taking care of me and wanting kindness…

E: …making me believe that I’m the guard…

F: …that I’m not the prisoner. You’re crazy…

E: Good jailer, I’m beginning to understand you.

(A pause.)

(Within E and F is a great relief.)

F: It must be night again because I feel sleepy. 

E: Yes, we should sleep. 

F: Maybe tomorrow another jailer will come to impersonate you.

E: Maybe tomorrow you’ll leave, jailer. 

F: Maybe tomorrow I’ll be released by the next jailer. 

E: The new jailer may give me my freedom. 

E and F: Maybe the new jailer will give us our freedom!

(Darkness.)
(Light.)

Narrator: THE FIRST STEP!

B: The Tao te ching says that to travel a kilometer you must first take a step. Good. I’m going to go a kilometer forward. I’m going to take the first step. But how long is a step? Half a meter? More? Three meters? Less? Twenty centimeters? A millimeter? What if taking a step was just mentally conceiving, without any measure, the idea of a step? I conceive of a step. Good. Now I no longer need to advance a kilometer. It is enough for me to conceive of it. 

(Darkness.)
(Light.)

Narrator: TO BE OR NOT TO BE!

(D enters, imitating Hamlet. He has a white ball in his hand instead of a skull.)

D: (Solemnly.) To be or not to be…To be and not to be at the same time…Not to be, but to be…To be ceasing to be…To be today, but not tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, if…To be about to be…Being out of being…To be inside of the non-being…Not to be here, but to be there…To be where you are not…Or not to be where you are…To be the infinite manifestation of being…To never be, etc…., etc….. That’s the problem!

(A, B, C, E, F, and G, who are sitting, watching this display, applaud. D, brimming with vanity, greets the applause with false dignity. He makes a small bow, then sits down at an imaginary mirror, in front of which he removes his makeup.)

D: (To the imaginary mirror.) Modestly speaking, you are the best! 

(G enters as a short-sighted and exaggeratedly enthusiastic girl.)

G: Magnificent! Formidable! Sublime!

D: (Vain.) Oh! You exaggerate. 

G: It moved me to tears, you are truly a genius! Nobody can interpret Hamlet like you. 

D: (With false modesty.) I don’t deserve such praise! If my interpretation of Hamlet was a success it surely wasn’t because of my merits, but instead because of destiny which at birth endowed me with this beautiful voice…

G: Too bad the other spectators didn’t feel the same way. I feel like I was the only one who understood it.

D: (Concerned.) And what did the other spectators say? 

G: They said that you don’t know how to articulate, that you didn’t understand a single syllable of what you were saying, and that you speak as if your teeth are full of mashed potatoes…Lying pigs!

D: (Upset.) How is that possible? I brush my teeth every morning and…

G: Wait, that’s not all. The imbeciles also made fun of your walk.

D: (Very restless.) What’s wrong with how I walk?

G: Nothing, it’s divine! But they said that it’s like you have cuts on all of your toes and that you walk in two directions at once like a clown. 

D: (Getting up to test his walk, which is just as they described.) How unfair the public is!

G: I would kill those scoundrels if I could! They said that you have no personality and that you’re mediocre, empty, and insignificant. That when you speak a rooster escapes between every sentence. But I, only I, know that really you are a genius! Please give me an autograph, even if it’s the only one you’re asked for this season…

(He gives her an autograph and sits, completely depressed. He looks at himself in the fake mirror with disgust.)

D: To be or not to be…

(Darkness.)
(Light.)

Narrator: MONOLOGUE!

(C enters, seriously, bringing a chair. He places the chair in the center of the stage, climbs onto it, and voraciously, with arms open wide, yells out:)

C: I’m innocent!!!

(He recovers his seriousness, steps down, and takes the chair with him as he leaves.)

(Darkness.)
(Light.)

Narrator: THE OPTIMIST AND THE PESSIMIST!

(G, an unwavering optimist, and E, an unwavering pessimist, meet.)

G: How are you?

E: Very bad!

G: I understand.

E: I don’t need to be understood.

G: I am going to try to understand you.

E: Don’t try anything with me.

G: I’m going to imagine that you don’t exist.

E: I exist. 

G: Nice day.

E: Too hot.

G: Yes, too hot. 

E: Don’t repeat what I say. 

G: Too cold. 

E: Don’t contradict me. 

G: It’s to help you. 

E: I don’t need help.

G: I won’t help you.

E: Don’t I deserve help?

G: Yes, but you don’t want me to help you.

E: What do you care if I want it or not?

G: How can I help you?

E: Not at all.

G: I will try to entertain you. 

E: Don’t try.

G: I’m going to propose a riddle. What difference is there…?

E: What do I care about the difference if I know there is one?

G: Once upon a time…

E: If there was, there is no more. What a pity!

G: When a jew meets a Scotsman…

E: Racist!

G: Don’t get angry.

E: Don’t stop me. 

G: Get angry!

E: Don’t give me orders.

G: I’ll shut up.

E: Your silence bothers me. 

G: Then I’ll talk. 

E: Don’t make any noise. 

G: I’m leaving. 

E: You want to leave me? I’m offended. 

G: Then you go!

E: Why are you kicking me out?

G: Let’s both go. 

E: I don’t need company. 

G: I’m not moving. 

E: I don’t want to stop you from moving. 

G: Then I’m leaving. 

E: You take up too much space. 

(G, desperate, slaps E. G instantly regrets it. E cries. G tries to calm down by reclaiming her air of unwavering optimism.)

G: How are you?

E: Very bad!

(Darkness.)
(Light.)

Narrator: THE GUILT!

(G is sleeping peacefully in a chair. C, A, and B throw themselves onto her and wake her up with blows.)

C, A, and B: Confess! Confess! Confess!

G: Who am I? Ah?

C, A, and B: Confess! Confess! Confess!

G: Where am I? Ah?

C: In your chair. 

G: Chair?? What’s a ‘chair’? Ah?

A: Where you’re sitting.

G: Sitting?? What is ‘sitting’? Ah? 

B: It is to pose the posterior on something you possess or not. 

G: Pose?? Posterior?? Possess?? Ah?

C: Enough of this beating around the bush!

A: Quickly!

B: Confess!

C and A: Confess! Confess!

G: Confess what? Ah? 

C: You know better than us, you’re the one being accused!

A and B: It is up to the accused to know what to say. 

G: I wish I had something to confess…

C, A, and B: Notebooks!

(C, A, and B take out notebooks and pencils.)

C: The accused expresses the desire to confess.

A: Anything you say from this moment forward can be used against you.

B: Begin!

G: Who am I? Ah?

A: You are here to answer questions not ask them.

C: Confess!

G: Confess what? Ah?

C, A, and B: Confess! Confess! Confess!

(C, A, and B throw themselves onto G, attacking her.)

G: I am guilty of the crime! 

C: She confesses her guilt!

A: Of a crime!

B: Then there’s a crime!

C, A, and B: What crime?

G: I don’t know. Ah!

A, B, and C: Confess! Confess! Confess!

G: Okay…a…a man…a man is dead.

C: A man has been murdered!

G: No…a woman. 

A: A woman and a man have been killed!

G: No…another man.

B: Many men were massacred! 

G: Many men.

A, B, and C: All the men!

G: All of the men. 

B: The history of man, his past, his present, his future, all killed by you. 

G: I confess. I am your killer. 

A: Liar! We are alive! Nobody has been massacred because we are all still alive! You’ve committed a false crime. Given a false statement. You are hiding a monstrous secret. Confess!

(They lunge at G, attacking her.)

G: Where am I? Who am I? I have nothing to confess. Ah?

B: We need a guilty party!

G: I’m guilty! 

C: Let’s take note- “I’m guilty”. Of what?

G: I don’t know. Ah?

C: Dig into your memories!

G: I have no memories!

(A, B, and C are hissing, not believing her.) 

C: She has no memories! 

B: Then we’ll just have to create some memories for her!

(A, B, and C change their attitude. Sweetly:)

C: Close your eyes…

A: Relax…

B: We are your friends…

C: You were born in a beautiful county…

A:…with fruit trees and fearless animals…

B: You played with a yellow teddy bear.

A: Your mother was blonde with long hair and a beautiful voice.

B: Your father dressed in black and played the violin. 

C: You went to school.

A: Had a friend who died prematurely. 

B: Started smoking. 

C: Met your future husband. 

A: Had children…

B: Fortune…

C: Committed an offense against the law…

B: A terrible offense.

C: (To A.) Say what she did.

A: (To B.) Say what she did.

B: (To C.) Say what she did!

C: We can invent a memory for her, but not the guilt!

G: (Opening her eyes.) Where am I? Ah?

(They throw themselves on top of her. They beat her.)

A and B: Confess! Confess! Confess!

G: Ah?

C and A: Guilty!

G: Who am I? Ah?

A and B: Confess for mercy!

G: Mercy? What is “mercy”? Ah?

C: (On their knees, crying.) Confess!

G: Ah?

A: (On their knees, crying.) Confess!

G: Ah?

B: (On their knees, crying.) Confess!

(G laughs and gets up from her chair.)

G: Hahaha!

B: You have nothing to confess. You aren’t guilty. So, who is guilty?

A, B, and C: Please make us confess!

G: Ah?

C: Find out, please!

B: Discover the guilt within us, please!

G: You have nothing to confess!

A, B, and C: The guilt, please!

(Darkness.)
(Light.)

Narrator: THE TWO OPTIMISTS!

(A and D, unwavering optimists, enter from opposite sides, happily singing and dancing.)

D: Everyone fights, except us. 

A: It’s true! What can we do to prevent it?

D: (Thinks.) Very simple! (He takes an apple from his pocket.) Do you see this apple?

A: I see it. 

D: So, I’ll put it here. (Puts it on the ground.) And later I’ll say “this apple is mine”. You’ll say “No, this apple is mine!” And we’d fight. 

A: Bravo! I understand. 

D: Good, let’s start. (With fake anger.) This apple is mine!

A: (With fake anger.) This apple is yours! 

D: No, it’s mine!

A: Yes, it’s yours!

D: (Exasperated.) The apple is yours!

A: If you give me the apple then I can’t get angry. Thank you very much! (Takes the apple.) Life is beautiful!

D: Very beautiful!

(A is going to bite the apple but D takes it and sets it back on the ground.)

D: We were wrong. Let’s start over.

A: Good. 

D: This time you start.

A: Good. (With fake anger.) This apple is mine!

D: (With fake anger.) No, this apple is mine!

A: (Generously.) Okay, it’s yours.

D: (Taking the apple.) Thank you so much. 

(D cuts the apple in two, giving half to A. They both eat, smiling.)

A: Life is beautiful!

D: So beautiful!

(A pause.)

D and A: It’s not possible!

A: We’ve already eaten the apple. We have to find another reason to fight.

D: I have an idea!

A: Yeah?

D: Turn your cheek like this, then I’ll give you a slap. You’ll get angry and we’ll fight. 

A: Bravo, I understand!

D: Let’s start. 

(A turns his cheek and D, with fake anger, pulls back to slap him, but stops.)

D: I pity you. 

A: (Trembling.) Hit me!

D: I feel very sorry for you. 

A: (Trembling more.) Come on, break a tooth!

D: I can’t. 

A: (Disappointed.) Now how are we going to fight?

D: Insult me to make me angry!

A: You filthy pig! You hog! You Swine!

D: Even more!

A: Piggy! Little hog! Tiny little pig!

D: It’s not enough. I’m not angry. 

A: I don’t know any more insults…

D: That doesn’t matter. It’s the tone that counts, not the words. When said with enough anger, everything is an insult. 

A: I understand…french fries! Green bicycle! Telescope! Microscope! Necktie! Tomato! Cherries! Buttons! Tree! Bush! Little flower! Birdie! My friend!

(D and A shake hands then hug. They separate.)

D: It’s not possible!

A: We could never fight!

D: Never! (Cries.)

A: (Stroking his hair.) Poor thing, don’t cry anymore. (Also begins to cry.)

D: (Now stroking A’s hair.) You too. Don’t cry anymore. 

D and A: (Consoling each other.) Don’t cry anymore, poor thing, little flower, little birdie, my friend. (D and A, happy, embrace in a hug.)

(Darkness.)
(Light.)

Narrator: THE IDIOTS!

(B, C, E, and F, idiots, are sitting, terribly bored.)

C: We get bored because we don’t know how to think, right?

E: Mmm…

B: Mmm…

F: Right! That’s right!

C: Bravo! You agree with me! Come on, I’m going to hypnotize you! Once hypnotized, I’ll make you think!

F: Woo! It must be wonderful to think! Good!

(F gets up and stands in front of C. C opens his eyes wide and with great authority tries to hypnotize her.)

C: Look at me. Go to sleep. Look at me. Go to sleep. Look at me. Look at me. I will count to three and you will fall asleep. One! Look at me. Two! Look at me. Look at me. Go to sleep. THREEEEE!!!

(F falls into a deep sleep.) 

C: (To F.) In a few minutes you will open your eyes and start thinking. (Calling to E.) Did you see? It’s easy! Come, I want to hypnotize you too! 

E: That remains to be seen. Let’s go! 

(C gets up and stands in front of E. C and E both open their eyes wide.)

C: Sleep, sleep, look at me!

E: Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Look at me!

C: No, you, fall asleep, look at me. ONE!!

E: You will be the one to fall asleep and the one who looks at me is you! TWO!!

C: Look at me. Look at me. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. THREEEEE!!!

(C falls into a deep sleep, hypnotized.)

E: (to C.) In a few minutes you will open your eyes and start thinking. (To B.) Did you see? The strongest intelligence will always dominate. Come! I could probably hypnotize you three times over!

B: We will see about that, said the blind man…

(E, challenging, places themselves in front of B. They both open their eyes wide.)

E: Look at me. Go to sleep. One…

B: Look at me and go to sleep. One…

E: Sleep, sleep, two…

B: Sleep, sleep, two…

E: Look at me…

B: Look at me…

E: You will fall asleep and then you will think!

B: You will fall asleep and then you will think!

B and E: THREEEEEEE!!!

(B and E each fall into a deep sleep. C, B, E, and F all snore. Suddenly, they wake up and open their eyes. They look at each other and stretch their necks and bodies, making ridiculous “intelligent” faces.)

C: The only way to know is to know that you don’t know! Of what I don’t know, I affirm the opposite!

E: The fruit of all labor is more labor! If we add up the possibilities of action, we eliminate the choice!

B: If solutions are disguised problems, then problems must be poorly posed solutions.

F: Five times eight is forty!

(They think.)

C: If the only possibility of creation is destruction, then the only way to destroy is to create. 

E: If all of the trees form a single forest we can no longer get lost because wherever we go we are in the same forest. 

B: Everything is relative, except for the relation itself which is constant and fixed. To say yes is to create infinite nos. To say one no is to eliminate all yeses. 

F: Five times eight is forty!

(They think. They twist their bodies trying to concentrate with their whole being. They suffer and moan. Then, they exclaim:)

C: It’s not possible! You can’t believe it anymore! Also the unjust is just!

E: Not yesterday, it’s impossible today, and what about tomorrow? Even without masters we obey blindly!

B: Condemned forever to be wrong! Smiling as we, along with everything else, drift towards death!

F: Five times eight is forty! I want to wake up!

(C, B, E, and F close their eyes and make desperate efforts to wake up. They wake up, and sigh with relief. They calm down. They get bored. They take all kinds of positions to kill time.)

(Darkness.)
(Light.)

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Note: It may be some time before posting the next part of this play as it still needs additional work and my attention is currently being pulled away from this project.

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